Sunday, June 28, 2009

A Really Tough Assignment

Some of the most challenging assignments I work on require naming a product or even a company. Most of the stuff I do can be easily changed, but naming something has lasting implications – in some cases, for an entire lifetime. 

A client of mine and his wife are expecting their first child—a girl. They conducted an online baby name poll, so my client asked me for some feedback.

I’m actually flattered he asked for my opinion on such an important decision, but I began to flash forward a few years…

Asking for opinions from people you’ve only met online seems quite logical in this day and age, but the record will no doubt be archived somewhere. So I can envision the following conversation in the years ahead.

"Dad, why did you name me ____?”

“Well honey, we asked 172 strangers to vote and ____ was selected by 32%.”

“Yeah, but that means most people didn’t like it!"

I know, I’m assuming ___ is pretty good with numbers, as I’m sure she’ll be.

Or maybe ____ uses whatever Google morphs into years hence and finds this poll on her own:

I can hear it now:

"Dad! Why did you name me ___. Only 6% voted for it! You’ve ruined my life!"

Hyperbole, of course, but doesn’t every teenager use the “you’ve ruined my life!” line at least once?

And then seared into the Internet’s memory forever will be the random musings of strangers who were visiting the site way back in the dark ages of 2009 to comment on the poll. Will ____ enjoy seeing comments like these?

Probably not. But even before little ____ hits kindergarten, she’ll be smart enough to know that her name is way better than “CBP412.” I mean what is that, some weird postal code or something?

Besides, ____ will turn out just fine whatever her name is. That someone can grow up with the name Bloch is living proof.

Posted by Richard Bloch

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